Learning From The Past As You Move Into The Future

 Whenever I look back at my first Pro Show with UFE I always think about what I could have done to place better. To be honest i'm not sure that I could have changed all that much as I only had 8 months of proper training leading into it. I felt great on stage, brought tons of energy, and had a well planned routine of poses. Everything that I could control on that stage I believe I did successfully. After receiving feedback, it turned out that I was simply too small to compete with the elite level guys in the division. It was something that I was told prior to the show so it wasn't a big surprise to hear it afterwords but it still left a sour taste in my mouth. That was the taste of wanting something so bad and not being able to get it because I didn't have the "goods" to bring to the dance. Most people would say ok and continue with their lives as if it didn't make a difference. Not me! I took it to heart and less than 48 hours later I was back in the gym working even harder than I did going into the show. My mind frame was that I had 12 months to show what I was really made of and the heart thats inside.

Today as i'm writing this post 6 months after the show I still don't think I am at the state that I need to be to compete with the top guys. I've put on some serious muscle mass during my first off season and should come in on stage 15-17 pounds heavier than last year. In my mind thats  not enough because that "too small" guy needs to be bigger in all areas to move forward. I'll never stop for one second and think that i've done enough because if that day comes i'll be in big trouble. All of the other guys in the division are working hard to make improvements plus the new comers are also hungry to make a name for themselves. Each day i wake up and tell myself that i'm too small and simply saying that motivates me to push harder and longer. This is really a mental game more than anything and using the positive criticism that I was given to fuel my goals for tomorrow. My ultimate goal is to bring a better "me" to the stage in 2012. A bigger, fuller, leaner physique that is worthy of taking the top prize. The lesson to be learned through it all is to always listen to others around you that want you to become the best you can be. I know that hearing whats wrong about you can be hard and at times upsetting. Turning that negative feeling into motivation to get you up in the morning will give you energy and fuel your way to future success. As I relate it back to my situation, being too small gives me the drive to push when I don't want to push anymore. I know the people around me will also catch me if I fall, so i really have nothing to worry about.